I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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