i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
