i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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