marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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