I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
