he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
