Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
