Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
