i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize