i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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