why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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