i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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