Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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