I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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