careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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