and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
