in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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