11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
