do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
