Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
