i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize