Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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