i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
