Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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