I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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