if i can run in heels then i can drive
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
