Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
