hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
