I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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