margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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