He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The Olympian is in my bed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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