the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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