I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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