I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
