Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
