I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
