What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
