remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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