I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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