at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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