I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
