I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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