I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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