I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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