After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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