He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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