A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
