your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
