oh god the rape fog is back!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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