i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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