She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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