those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
