I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
