I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
from now on my penis is your penis
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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