I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
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She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The ass gains better be worth it
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