Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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