Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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