nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize