There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize