we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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