please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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